03 January, 2009
Well, by now most of you know that "monkey's" first birthday is this month! Wow, it has been a wild ride to say the least. I intend this month leading up to her birthday to re-live this journey in my blog. You see, I started my blog after I had "monkey" and didn't get to share the journey. My other goal, since I started the blog late, is to capture the journey to remember later. I hope my friends and family that already know the journey will hang in there as I document it and bring my new bloggy friends a long!
So, to start... I have always wanted to be a mom. As long as I can remember, I wanted to stay home and raise my kids. The Lord blessed us with two wonderful children. They are now 10 and 7 years old! They are the best. I couldn't ask for more. I had one boy and one girl. One for each hand!
In the summer of 2006, I found out that we were expecting baby #3!! Okay, we didn't really intend on having more children, but God knows what he is doing. At the time we had the dog from HELL, both kids were in school, I was working... what do we do now? We HAVE A BABY!! It took us about a week to get used to the idea and come up with an instant plan for the future. I was really happy about the idea of having a baby around again. I even started to get giddy! One of our solutions was to take the family on a mini-vacation. So we packed up the van, invited our friends, booked a hotel, and off we went down to Key West for the weekend!
As we were there I had a miscarriage. Why would God let me get pregnant, make me okay- even happy about it, and then take it away? Even in the midst of this crisis... HE was there. We had planned on a cruise instead of just a drive to Key West. I can't imagine being stuck on a boat! We took friends with us that watched the kids for us while we sat in the Key West ER. (don't know what I would have done without them. We hadn't told them about the baby yet. The kids just thought we were having a date. Some Date!) He worked everything out throughout the trauma! I did a lot of wrestling with God over this. Many months went by. I now had this "pregnancy idea" in my head. I started to yearn for my baby. I watched people around me get pregnant. There was a void in my heart. For someone who hadn't intended on more children, I was sure yearning deeply now. I felt we weren't complete! It wasn't until I went to a woman's retreat and had some one on one time with God that I was able to get some much needed peace and some answers to my questions. I could then say, " IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!"
About a year later, I found out I was pregnant with "monkey" !! Whoo Hoo!! Now I was pregnant, the journey got interesting from there!!
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My heart was hurting and then dancing for you .... I'm anxious to hear of your journey, my friend.
Hugs to you!
PS. I've just caught up on the last few days of your posts & I have to say I've enjoyed them as always!
I had a miscarriage before my first son was born, and I completely understand that feeling of loss. Only the Lord could fill that void in my heart!!!
HUGS!!
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
God was good to you in 2008, its funny how he makes things happen that turn your life around and make you think and in the end they are usually blessings in disquise.
Also, I have a tutu giveaway on my boutique blog that I thought u would be interested in! Your daughters are so adorable!!
www.thefairytaleboutique.blogspot.com
Good luck!!!
Thanks so much for your honesty and beautiful testimony!!